ok..so im done now. its over. can not believe it. but oh well..thank you all for all the fun times together..i wont ever forget any of you guys, so yall better keep in touch and come visit me soon~ no joke. i really had the most amazing year ever, from ball games to movie-pool nights at barbers. and prom was cool. and thank you also cuz everybody took me at least once somewhere, i promise i will drive yall everywhere in mexico. and just thank you for everything else, for being cool memorable people. aww soo sad.  yall really, ..ok my mind is blank now, (it was amazinly full 2 min ago), but i guess yall know what i think of you , and how thankful i am. just remember yall have ur other home down in mexico. so yeah...c yall next summer! or anytime you want. good luck for everybody on whatever you guys do..go for it..i love you all so freakin much. a lot. keep it up people!

always,

marcia benavides v.

wow. today i've taken 3 showers so far. ( 7:15 pm) 1st -morning shower.went to church, came back ,just chilled around, then i want out for a run so when i came back took the 2nd shower, after a while i went to the pool and of course put on like a lot of taning lotion, laying there just listening to music,  then about 30 min later it started raining =/ . so depressing haha. so yeah came back home and took the 3rd shower. and i might get in the hot tub tonight...so...

yesterday was great. i went to charles city co. to a party with other exchange students. i cooked a mexican dish, not that i like cooking but i had to, and it was good actually, i was scared hehe bc it was the first time i cooked all by myself, i mean like seriously cooking. but anyways, the house was huge and pretty, and we got to go for a ride in a boat, and then jetksi.

it was fun. thats it. dinner time.

ok so lately im a mess. i wonder about everything you can think of. i always have but...is getting worse.. i've been thinking a lot about my life and what im doing with it. and what im doing next. and it scares me to death to take the wrong decisions, but i guess thats what life is all about. is weird. what is weird? i dont know! just everything.i dont wanna see myself in one year. next summer. picking a collage to go. i dont even know...umm...nothing. dude i feel so young for these things. and i feel so mature other times, but when it comes to decide something that will affect my entire future. gosh. i dont know why im here now. and it kinda freaks me out to know that i could be in any, absolutely any place in the states now, or even canada. isn't crazy?, i could have done tons of different things and met other people. but i came here. i met these people. and i love it! i wouldn't ever regret it..is just..i wonder..and wonder..and going back to my future plan (dont really have a plan, at all), i'd like to come back to the states, though it probably wouldn't be virginia because is a little too far away from home to live the next 3 or 4 years that i will spend in collage, it would just be too hard be that far away, but in the other hand, i know that at some point i will have to get completely independence from my family and start my own life, well i kinda did already. but yeah what if i come here or i dunno, i might go to some collage in texas, so at least i wouldn't be so far but..my friends..ok i can always make new friends, but..my grandparents. i love them so so much. what if one of them dies (i still have the 4 of them =) ), i know it will happen someday anyways, I just dont want to be somewhere far away when it does. but i cant stay home just because of my fears. i mean, yes i would be there the next day, maybe even in the next few hours. but not in -the moment- . thats a huge trauma i have. when i decided to come here, i couldn't stop thinking what it would be like being at school or just anywhere and getting a call from my dad telling me you have to get the next fly and come home. right away. and i cry even to think about it. couldn’t survive it. anyways, now that im leaving ( 23 days baby) im kinda reviewing what i've done. i've done pretty good i think. and none of my relatives have died since i've been here.im SO thankful God!, again, i know someday i will have to attend a really sad funeral (all funerals are sad i know,and yeah, i have been at some but it didnt get me that bad) . though, one of my best friend's grandpa died a few months ago and it was so depressing, i couldn't be with her.and couldn't do anything. i did call her and said im sorry...and we both starting crying..yeap..in the phone. isnt terrible? i couldn't hug her. thats all i said. i suck at those kind of things. i know she got what i wanted to say, she really is a close friend and she said it was really important for her that i called. but man i wish I had been there. there's nothing i can do now, those things happen. but what if it had been MY grandfather, or even MY mom/dad. who would have called me? …..

ok.so im in love with this guy.whichever his name is im not gonna say it...but...ohhh freakin goshh..hes so cute. and waayy older than me. and married. and has 2 cute kids.and hes so nice.oh and he calls me marci, no marcia, marci. ahah super cute. yeah i know.im in serious trouble.i still love him tho. i even had a dream about him..nothing bad i swear is just that when i dream about someone is cuz is really someone you know what im saying?,oh well hopefully it'll just go away as the one i had a few months ago on my snowboarding instructor (he was 20, yeah still older than me but not as badd as this one).but hey! dont freak out its just this impossible love we all have,cuz i mean, we all do. dont we?